Field Notes: Creating Without Expectations

Give this a shot...

My wife and I went to see The Fabelmans last weekend and as expected, the story of a kid falling in love with movies and learning to make his own hit very close to home. I would love to tell you that my early endeavors showcased the same level of aptitude as Steven Spielberg’s, but… well…

My first movie was called Legends of Batman. I was 11 or 12 and I shot the entire thing on a Saturday afternoon with my mom’s camcorder. Looking at the above image, you might find this hard to believe, but… it was not good.

That didn’t matter though. This was way before YouTube or social media. It existed on a single Hi8 cassette and the only people who ever saw it were the friends I’d made it with. There was no audience. I just did it for the sake of doing it.

That’s how everything worked back then — the comic books I drew, the stories I wrote, the fake radio show I co-hosted with my friend… what happened once they were done couldn’t have been further from my mind.

Good thing to. I’m not sure the world was ready for a Superman comic where The Man of Steel is killed by a personal trainer who pushes him too hard…

I don’t know, man. I was a weird kid.

Don’t get me wrong, I think sharing your art is an important final step that you need to get comfortable with. The reason this has been on my mind though is that we just released the latest episode of our web series. As a result, this past week was largely devoted to conversations about social media posts, ad campaigns, marketing budgets, and blah blah blah.

When I make stuff now, the end destination has to be fully considered before I even get started. If I’m going to spend time and energy on it, it has to be in service of something. And that made me realize how much I miss creating without expectations. As artists get older, the overlap between work and play grows murkier.

So I’ve been trying to set aside a little bit of time just to play. I completely divorce myself from the idea that whatever I make has to mean something, go somewhere, or contribute to some larger goal or purpose. It’s just for fun. And it’s just for me.

Once all the major items on the to-do list have been taken care of, I’ll open up a sketchbook and just start drawing. Sometimes I’ll try and make myself laugh by coming up with the silliest thing I can think of. More often though, there’s not even a hint of a jumping-off point. I just start moving the pencil.

Same thing with writing. Or playing the guitar. I just let go and surrender to whatever’s rattling around in my subconscious.

After being so strategic about screenplays/films/podcasts/etc in a professional capacity, it’s unbelievably liberating to take a few minutes here and there to make stuff I know no one is ever going to see or hear. It makes me feel like a kid again.

Now, sometimes I do wind up backing into an idea that’s too good not to do more with, but that’s an unexpected bonus and never the intention. For the most part, I try to treat this time as having dessert after I’ve finished my vegetables.

So give it a whirl. Maybe you’ll find it as liberating as I do.

5 Cool Things

1. Well, you knew this was coming. Episode four of The Strange Case of Lucy Chandler is out now. I’m way too hard on myself to consider the episode itself the cool thing, but what is cool is that this newsletter is the reason I was finally able to complete it. When I started this, I wondered if adding another ongoing commitment was actually going to help me with the other projects I was having trouble finishing. But here we are. =-)

2. Apparently, no one else went to see The Fabelmans and that’s a shame. I really enjoyed it and it made me want to revisit the amazing Spielberg documentary on HBO Max. The second viewing of that doc was even better because I was able to see just how faithfully his actual life had been re-created for the new film. Maybe even more interesting though are the points where The Fabelmans intentionally deviated. I don’t want to spoil anything, but Spielberg has said that when it comes to his relationship with his mother and father, there’s quite a bit in there that isn’t exactly how things happened, but rather how he wishes he’d behaved at the time. I’m telling you, it’s a really great film. It also has one of the greatest cameos I’ve ever seen.

3. Jordan Peele was a guest on Dax Shepard’s Armchair Expert podcast last month, but I only just listened to it this past week. The entire interview is great, but the part that really stood out to me was when they started talking about why Peele named his production company Monkeypaw. This leads to an incredibly vulnerable moment where Dax explains what’s really behind his fear of failure and the whole thing just stopped me in my tracks. I found it deeply relatable and I think some of you might too.

4. The White Lotus continues to be my favorite thing on TV and I’m a little bummed that tonight’s the finale. I know I’ve mentioned that one before though, so I’ll also give a shoutout to Wednesday on Netflix. We just started it last night and although I suspect that I’m not necessarily the target demographic for this, I’m liking it way more than I expected to. Tim Burton + The Addams Family almost seems too obvious, but it works and it’s a lot of fun. Oh, and Jenny Ortega absolutely kills it in the title role.

5. I’m about halfway through a book called Sallow Bend by Alan Baxter and if you’re into horror fiction, this one gets a strong recommendation. It begins with a small town coming together to find two missing teens but then goes off in a bunch of unexpected directions. I saw some reviews comparing it to early Stephen King and was prepared for a lot of that to be very superficial, but no — that’s genuine. There’s not much that truly creeps me out anymore, but this? This one’s pretty creepy.

Take care, friends. Talk to you soon.